True Blood: Vampire Sex Is Twisted

Last night’s episode had so much sex. Motel sex, workplace cunnilingus, and straight-up hatefucking.

To be honest, the episode seemed a little slow and a little boring — right until the end, when Bill hatefucked Lorena and twisted her head all the way around. He literally messed with her head after she figuratively messed with his. This was one of the most brutal, shocking and disgusting scenes ever on TV, and while it’s supposed to say something about what’s going on inside the mind of gentle Bill Compton, or what’s not going on in his mind — He’s going out of his mind — you also have to wonder how it felt to write that scene. Shudder.

Other moments of note:

• Jason’s nightmarish hieroglyphs.
• Tara and Franklin’s hot motel sex was hot. It’s obvious that the dude is bad news, but since terrible things keep happening to Tara, she deserves some mind-numbing orgasms.
• Speaking of orgasms: Pam ate Estonian last night! I made an mp3 of her saying, “Fangtasia, this better be good,” in case you want that.
• The hotness that is Alcide. Bask in it.
• Sheriff Dearborne: “I quit. I don’t need this horse shit.”
• Cooter: “My ex is banging their leader.”
• “Zima, correct?”
• Bill pledging loyalty to the King of Mississippi.
• Eric giving Lafayette a car, and saying, “it might look a little out of place parked outside of that strange plywood hutch you live in.”
• Arlene giving Terry the baby news.
• Lou Pine’s. Heh.