True Blood: "I'd Die If I Wasn't Already Dead"

Teen vamp angst is actually pretty cute, but where did homegirl get a curling iron?

Props to Jessica for bringing the guy home and making the first move and just generally being more entertaining than anyone else in this otherwise very lame episode. Although seeing Jason Stackhouse have homoerotic nightmares about a naked vamp in his bed and hearing the Reverend say, "Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody" were also highlights. Still: Lafayette is not a vamp. Foaming-at-the-mouth Sookie is as annoying as naggy Sookie. And Maryann's Bacchanalia complete with pig, booze and gratuitous nudity was, in fact, boring. The only intrigue? The bullheaded-thing that scratched Sookie, and Jessica and Hoyt's budding romance (clip above).


Share This Story

Get our newsletter


Eric Northman is mine

Con- Sookie storming into the forest and attempting to walk home, at night! 20 miles from home! Yeah, I'm sure nothing bad will happen. Cue Bull man…..

Con- Sookie slapping Eric. Really? So because Bill puts up with her tantrums and shit she thinks other vamps should. Eric is a vampire and a sheriff, if it were anyone else you know they wouldn't have lived to tell the tale. And did she even thank Eric for saving her? If he hadn't called his doctor, she'd pretty much be goner.

Pro- Jason realizing that the Fellowship's ministry is BS and storming out

Con- Steve and Sarah(well mostly Sarah) pulling him back in

Pro- Eric-"And Pam I did love those pumps"

Pro- Eric-"It's always a pleasure doing business with you"

Dr Ludwig- F*ck off! (hahaha)

Pro-Lafayette is free

Con-Lafayette can't afford to go to the hospital/breaking down when he gets home.

Pro-Eric-"Perhaps I will grow on you'..hint, hint

Pro-Jessica and Hoyt. Particularly her being embarrassed about her fangs and Hoyt not being repulsed. Awwww, baby vamps need love too...and yeah that throbbing vein bit was hilarious!

Pro- Tara finally realizing that Maryann is more than just shady and possibly getting the hell out of her place next episode

Con- Daphne possibly Maryann's minion messing with Sam in future episodes. Will the poor guy catch a break soon?

Con- The next episode is 2 weeks ago. WTF? They've only shown 3 episodes, what's up with taking a break.