True Blood: "I'd Die If I Wasn't Already Dead"

Teen vamp angst is actually pretty cute, but where did homegirl get a curling iron?

Props to Jessica for bringing the guy home and making the first move and just generally being more entertaining than anyone else in this otherwise very lame episode. Although seeing Jason Stackhouse have homoerotic nightmares about a naked vamp in his bed and hearing the Reverend say, "Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody" were also highlights. Still: Lafayette is not a vamp. Foaming-at-the-mouth Sookie is as annoying as naggy Sookie. And Maryann's Bacchanalia complete with pig, booze and gratuitous nudity was, in fact, boring. The only intrigue? The bullheaded-thing that scratched Sookie, and Jessica and Hoyt's budding romance (clip above).


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