Tori Spelling Didn't Want A Girl, Either

Illustration for article titled Tori Spelling Didn't Want A Girl, Either

My biggest fear in life was having a girl," says Tori Spelling. What's with all the girl-hate?

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Recently we linked to a CNN article in which a mom discussed her preference for a boy over a girl baby. Now Tori Spelling is admitting to the same feelings, prior to giving birth to daughter Stella, now a year old. The product of a famously contentious relationship with her own mom, Candi, Spelling apparently worried about replicating the dynamic. "How was I going to handle a girl?" She asks in Cookie.

Of course, now that the daughters exist, both moms have come around, presumably appreciating the differences - and, more to the point, appreciating them as individuals rather than simply defined by their sex. But soon enough, apparently, that sort of journey won't be necessary. Says Babble,

Now, according to a Swedish medical ruling, if a mother or couple discover the gender of their baby and decide "that's what we were hoping for" they can get an abortion on that basis

It seems sad to think that people like Wilson or Spelling who take advantage of this won't get the chance to challenge their assumptions and maybe have something unexpected and wonderful happen - and what's with no one wanting girls? (Selective pregnancy for boys is, after all, chillingly familiar.) Then too, this seems like a very slippery slope: what of those who want to isolate the "gay" gene to guarantee heterosexual offspring?

On the other hand, perhaps any parent who is that single-mindedly eager for a son or daughter might let the disappointment (?) color a child's life, and if that's the only way they feel capable of parenting well, then...But: there's so much chance in having a child at all that the sex is surely almost the least of it! Having children seems to be largely about giving yourself over to a loss of control: to love, to fear, to the unexpected. Control is futile - isn't that the tragedy and the beauty of giving birth to another human being? - and any parent is going to learn that soon enough. Sex would seem like a good place to start.

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Don't like Your Baby's Gender? Sweden Rules 'Gender-Based' Abortion Legal [Babble]
Tori Spelling Was Worried About Raising a Girl [Cookie]
Earlier: This Mom: Brave Enough To Admit She Wanted A Boy, Not A Girl

DISCUSSION

littlepunkryo-old
littlepunkryo

I've babysat both a boy and a girl. For some reason I do better with boys. I was a tomboy growing up and I still am, I like a lot of things that make it easy for me to connect with guys about them. So when I think of having kids, I do kind of automatically think "boy." Not because I wouldn't love a girl, but I'm kind of scared I'll be a crappy parent because I never liked any of those "girly girl" things that some girls like, and what if my poor child wants me to play princess with her and I'm completely clueless?

But then of course I remember that while that cute little baby boy I may end up with will eventually discover his penis and I will be just as lost in explaining that one, so it probably all evens out in the end.