Todd And Sarah Could Be Our New Jon And Kate!

Sarah Palin’s reality show about Alaska has been picked up by TLC, the same network that ran Jon & Kate Plus 8. Will the Palins now embrace tabloids, bad hair, and Ed Hardy?

If Jon & Kate is any guide, yeah! And while Sarah Palin’s Alaska will supposedly focus on the natural beauty of her great state, we bet the Palin brood will make an appearance too. Here’s everything they need to follow in the footsteps of the Gosselins, turning family strife into media dominance:

The Family Expansion

In order to make themselves a viable replacement for the Gosselins, Sarah and Todd Palin should have at least three more children. Alternately, they could formally adopt the population of Alaska (estimated at 698,473 in 2009), or of “real America” (probably around 120 million, depending on whether you include libertarians). The latter would certainly be difficult and expensive, but Palin’s claim that being a mom qualifies her to speak for the country would certainly hold more weight if she was actually mom to much of the country.

The Makeover

Sure, Sarah Palin’s well-known for her hotness, but plastic surgery makes for great publicity. Just as Kate Gosselin‘s tummy-tuck-cum-hair-reinvention brought her tabloid attention, Palin could up her profile even further with a nose job, or even some implants. Maybe Heidi Montag’s surgeon is available? And while Palin’s been working the bumpit pretty successfully, perhaps a celebrity stylist could update her hair as well. Now that Kate’s rocking blond extensions, her old spiky-in-the-back, long-in-the-front look is available.

The Marital Discord

A reality show can take its toll on any family, and while the Palins have insisted that their marriage is strong, it may not be able to withstand the pressures of grueling shooting schedules and 120 million kids. Don’t be surprised if Todd and Sarah start bickering over whose turn it is to feed Indianapolis — or if Todd fights back by donning Ed Hardy shirts and stepping out with women in the media (perhaps Greta van Susteren would oblige?). Sarah, meanwhile, could go the (alleged) Kate route and take comfort in the arms of an employee — perhaps her snowmachine instructor or the guy she pays to keep moose out of her garden.

The Tabloids

In 2009, it was hard to find a tabloid that didn’t have a Gosselin on the cover. If the Palins play their cards right, 2010 could be their year. Sure, some family members have already graced the cover of In Touch, but as the Gosselins showed, the real path to fame and fortune is paved with tawdry details of infidelities. Todd catching salmon with another woman, Sarah tossing his snowshoes out the window — the photo opp possibilities are endless. And if Levi Johnston could somehow be brought back into the picture …

Dancing With The Stars

Her turn on Dancing With The Stars shows that Kate Gosselin has mastered the Reality Show Perpetual Motion Machine, in which one successful appearance endlessly begets others. And with her pageant experience and much-touted athletic ability, Sarah Palin is a shoo-in for DWTS. Whether or not she’s concurrently engaged in a custody battle with Todd over their 120 million children, an appearance on the popular show will cement her status as Queen of Reality TV. Which will hopefully distract her from becoming president in real reality.