Kathie Lee Gifford's original musical comedy Today: The Musical premiered today on NBC, and holy god am I glad my job doesn't require me to literally dance to the whims of a drunk talking head.
The 14-minute production makes not one iota of sense, and includes, in no particular order: lactation jokes, Matt Lauer in boxers, people trying and failing to talk in unison, Regis Philbin singing encouragingly to a young vest-wearing employee ("Sal, our props guy")... I can't with this. Kathie Lee, it's not cute to poke fun at yourself when you make your lowly wage slaves do it for you!
Watch it in full below.