Ever wondered whether Justin Bieber—the pencil-dicked rapscallion* whose hot new Calvin Klein ads are making tween hearts beat just a little faster—can take a joke? Well, you've only got to wait until March to find out, because this little motherfucker is getting roasted!
Ryan Seacrest (the straight man to Brian Dunkleman's wacky antics) just tweeted that the Biebster will be the guest of honor at an upcoming event in which he will be heckled, insulted and otherwise mistreated by professional comedians and celebrities with professional comedians writing their jokes.
While many people who have been roasted in the past have also had lengthy careers to add at least some gravitas to the proceedings (the point is to "honor by joking," after all), this particular crime-fighting rodent is best known for his bad behavior, ability to make young girls swoon by singing "baby," and habit of torturing Selena Gomez into producing some of her best work. It's also clear from past interviews and just his general persona that Bieber can't take a fucking joke, so we can expect him to sit up there stony-faced, waiting for someone to cross the line so he can give his army of Beliebers the signal to infiltrate the theatre and put those who they feel have wronged their leader to a swift, painful death.
In related news, Women's Wear Daily has posted a lengthy dissection of exactly how and why Bieber has helped Calvin Klein's brand by posing as their latest underwear model. WWD doesn't say if sales have skyrocketed (what would pubescent girls want with underwear for adult males?) but they report that Klein's social media presence is through the roof.
*I had to ask whether I could legally use this term to describe Bieber and was told that it was fine, so that's how I'll be referring to him from now on. Because it's legal.
Image via Calvin Klein