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There are few things more devastating to some people than finding out there’s an undesignated third person in their two-person relationship. But once the truth is out, the next moves are crucial.

In the video above, Tiny Harris—who’s faced cheating rumors in her own marriage—explains when she thinks a partnership is repairable and when you’ve got to go. Finding out about “outside babies,” for example, would be a breaking point. “That’s the one thing I’ve always said: Any outside babies, I’ve got to go.”

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