Three-Legged Dog Is Criminal Mastermind, Robs Local Pet Store of Valuable Snausage Supply

I've had foster dogs who've spent time on the streets, and they are scrappy. When you've had to hustle for food, you become incredibly resourceful. I've had dogs who could open fridges, unscrew specially made "unbreakable" dog food containers, and literally knock me over to get at half a burrito hidden in a bush.

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Because of these reasons, I'm especially impressed with three-legged wonder dog, Oscar, who was caught on video thieving treats from a pet store. Look at him go, he's so stealthy and creative, what a champ! Before he could completely rob the nice people at the pet store dry (of dry food), he was caught. Turns out, Oscar was an escapee from the people who were watching him while his owners vacationed. He's now at the city pound awaiting their return, and I think we all need to keep tabs on his ass to make sure his family comes to get him/he doesn't rob a bank. If they don't show, I'm flying him first class straight to my lap because I gotta give that little outlaw all the scratches and hugs.

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sorciamacnasty
Sorcia MacNasty

Oscar, I have a girlfriend for you. This is Lola. She is the Al fucking Capone of dogs.

She has scaled a 7' tall bookcase in order to reach a tupperware container of fried peanuts. When she couldn't get the top of, she gnawed through the bottom and ate EVERY SINGLE NUT. She was shitting nuts for DAYS. My backyard looked like a Payday truck had exploded.

She has leapt from the floor directly to the top of the dining room table, devouring a plate full of Christmas cookies. She then vomited up butterscotch and peppermint for three solid days. We had to get her re-hydrated. She REGRETS NOTHING.

She stole a starfish — yes, a motherfucking STARFISH — from my mother's shell collection and was about to NOM the shit out of it before I caught her.

You two will make a beautiful couple.