Guess what? Drinking is bad for you. Three drinks a night and your liver is fucked, your heart is fucked, your productivity is fucked because you're not supposed to take Advil or else you'll get ulcers so your stomach lining is fucked too, and now it turns out your tits are also fucked because scientists have found a link between drinking and breast cancer. (To think: drinking, the leading cause of everything that's wrong with you, causes breast cancer, the leading deadly effect of every single one of your poor habits!) A new study says that three drinks a night of alcohol โ€” wine, beer, absinthe, it doesn't discriminate! โ€” increases your risk of breast cancer around the same amount as being a smoker! Which got me wondering; what's up with this whole "three drinks" thing? Why are all the studies about what happens if you drink three drinks? Who really drinks three drinks every night? Aren't you either a "one-or-two-because I'm social person" or a "I don't even want to count" kind of person?

Where are the studies on the effects of, I dunno, six drinks a night? And what about the studies about the difference between only drinking six drinks, and drinking four drinks plus a half-pack of cigarettes, a few milligrams of Ritalin and a line or two of coke with a Kombucha chicken nugget chaser? Because you're, you know, trying to cut back? Where are the studies about the effects of a COLLEGE EDUCATION?

Three Drinks A Day Ups Breast Cancer [Reuters]