Thoughts About Thinking & Drinking

Illustration for article titled Thoughts About Thinking & Drinking

Okay, so. Onto what one commenter yesterday called the "elephant in the room." For those who don't know, over a week ago, two of our most provocative colleagues, Moe and Tracie, appeared onstage in downtown Manhattan for an evening of "catharsis and hilarity" at the invitation of a comedy/political writer. I've been trying to figure out what exactly went on for days now - well mostly, I've been taking the time to try and figure how I feel about what went on - and the only thing I keep coming back to is that everyone involved disappointed, made mistakes and presented themselves at less than their best. It was a tough situation that has made a lot of people unhappy and frustrated...including me.

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And it wasn't representative of Jezebel. I like to think that this site is a place where women (editors and readers alike) are able to agree to disagree and certainly, messages get lost in translation, but the whole event turned out to be one big mess of failed jokes, disturbing intimations, absurd judgments and self-righteous victim-blaming...by most everyone involved.

I went through a range of emotions watching the video: amusement, annoyance, disbelief, empathy, and disgust. I can't apologize for anyone else or explain the reasons and nuances behind the choices they made and the roads they went down - they can do that on their own time and on their own blogs - but I can say that I understand the anger and disappointment among some of our readers, and am frustrated by the wasted opportunity.

These three women had the chance to have a fun, spirited discussion - or a serious talk; it remains unclear what the event was "supposed" to be - about issues like pop culture, politics, lifestyle choices, what it means to be a woman and/or a feminist, and the intersection of personal and professional responsibility. That chance was squandered. Some blame the format, or the participants, or generational differences, or alcohol, or the provocative subject matter, or unrealistic expectations, inarticulateness and lack of preparedness. I believe that everyone, however, can agree that the whole thing was a fucking shame.

Comments? Weigh in below...with the empathy, measuredness and generosity of spirit that was sorely lacking both during and after the event. Questions? Feel free to email.

Earlier: The Girl's Guide To Commenting On Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

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I'm late to this because I had decided to ignore it. Sure, not the best way to handle something but it was that or just go off on a rant.

I realize a lot of people respect the writers and moderators on Jez and I admire them in some ways also. But...I was disappointed from the start of the video just as I've been disappointed when I've read comments making light of rape or any sexual assault. I don't make rape jokes and I find them offensive when made by others...no matter how much I admire that person's writing skills and other humor.

I'm 41 years old, but I know there are a lot of younger women reading these posts who may question their right to speak up or do something when confronted with their own or another's sexual or other assault.

I'm going to end this long ass post by saying I was disappointed by what I read and heard. I expected more. And if someone wants to sleep around I don't have a problem with that, but I do have a problem when people assume that that is what feminism is - because for me it isn't.

I love this site and my hope is that we can learn from this discussion and do better in the future.