"Though, As Most Analytical Perfectionistic Minds Do, I Find Myself Going Over The Many Flaws Caused By My Nervousness, Lack Of Antiquate Dancing Ability…"

Welcome back to Crap Email From A Dude, where the names are made up but the 24-point signature files and commensurately-inflated senses of self-importance are real! Marcel met Lidia in a theology class and he asked her to a dance. She accepted, and he thew in a trip to meet his parents in the suburbs as a bonus. On the way, he talked about "him. And his life. And his future. His parents lived in the middle of nowhere - I started wondering if I would be kidnapped." No such luck! They went to the dance. It was "uneventful." Well, that's how she saw things anyway…as this email displays, no two people can ever really experience the same narrative. Lidia broke things off after learning about his criminal record, but she owes a debt of gratitude to Marcel, who in the space of two dates taught her the enduring lesson: there was never a case of self-loathing so bad it interfered with a dude's central self-obsession! (Or, for that matter, inspired a spell check.)


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