- R.I.P. American Girls original, Samantha Parkington. May you rest in peace with the other overpriced, historically accurate plastic toys in the sky.
- Another American icon on the decline: Hugh Hefner's bunnies and balls are musty.
- Speaking of old balls, John McCain mocked women's health in an apocryphal argument against late term abortion.
- I can't believe we have two more weeks of this. At least the debates are over.
- Well, at least one contest of note is over this week: a Project Runway winner was declared, and her name rhymes with pee pan.
- It might burn when you pee if Cosmo gives you a "pear-fection."
- It would also probably burn when you peed if you had sex with a Don Draper type. Manwhores!
- You should apologize to your body for any pear-fections incurred by Don Draper-esque encounters.
- Seriously guys. It's Friday. So macramaé yourself a jumpsuit and throw down with Jane Winebox. You deserve it!
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