This Porn PSA Might Be the Least Sexy Thing You’ll See All Day

Measure B, a ballot initiative sponsored by the Aids Healthcare Foundation that would require all porn performers to use condoms for movies made in L.A., may initially seem pretty sensible, but it’s been a fraught issue. Industry workers, citing test frequency and relatively low rate of HIV among porn performers, have recently dialed up their opposition to Measure B, recently rallying at a burger joint in L.A. and producing this dreary PSA directed by Axel Braun and featuring Tera Patrick and Ron Jeremy.

The informative pair offers some statistics (of varying relevance) for your consideration: on average, 12 people lose their lives daily performing some of America’s more dangerous jobs; while 60,000 people have died on the job since 2000, a mere six porn performers have tested positive for HIV during the same span of time; and performers are tested, like, all the time. If Measure B passes, they caution, porn producers will have no choice but to relocate to a less regulation-prone state, like North Dakota, resulting in $20 billion in lost revenue and 10,000 lost jobs for Southern Californians. Is that what everyone wants, hmm? To impoverish Southern California? It’s the epitome of Big Brother. Who is John Galt? Other generic conservative warning about big government.

However, a recent story of male pornstar Mr. Marcus allegedly starting a syphilis outbreak among performers, and the emergence of a new strain of antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea belie porn industry reassurances that even regular testing can keep its performers safe. Whether you believe that risk is just part of the job and performers are free to make their own decisions about health and safety is another question entirely, but one thing is for certain — Ron Jeremy looks completely stoned in this PSA, incapable of selling ShamWows let alone swaying the voting public. Actually, nevermind — the voting public will buy almost anything.