This Poor Woman Has Pubes Growing Out of Her Face and It's Not Her Fault

It wasn’t long ago that a serious dog bite to the face would result in a disfiguring scar that would stay with you for the rest of your life. Not so anymore! These days, doctors can remove a piece of your groin, seamlessly stitch it over your old, ruined skin, and voila! Good as new! Except for the small matter of the pubes.

The pubes have been an understandable point of contention for Crystal Coombs, who at the age of 9 suffered a dog bite that removed an entire chunk of her cheek below her eye. Initially, she just lived with the gaping wound:

“It was open for a while. Like how the outside of Freddie Kruger’s face looks, with the burn? That’s what the inside looked like.”

But eventually, Coombs decided to see a plastic surgeon, who recommended a graft with skin taken from Coombs’ groin. The groin! But why?! There are SO many places you can remove skin that don’t grow hair! Anyway, you know where this is going, but Coombs, and evidently the doctor employed to perform the procedure, did not.

“So you were getting pubic hair on your face?” Botched’s Dr. Paul Nassif asked calmly.

“Yes. Literal pubic hair. I don’t believe that the doctor mentioned I would grow pubic hair out of my patch. I don’t remember that.”

Coombs has taken this whole thing remarkably in stride considering the pubes growing from her cheek. But while the situation is horrifying in theory, in practice, is dealing with it really much worse than waxing a mustache? Or, you know, your actual pubes?

Luckily, the Botched doctors will probably be able to rectify this problem, or else…why would it have been included it in the season?