This Horrifying Mask Promises to Make You More Beautiful

Illustration for article titled This Horrifying Mask Promises to Make You More Beautiful

Imagine Hannibal Lecter meets a medieval Iron Maiden at a Daft Punk show, and you've got the IlluMask.

Today's New York Times has a little item about the IlluMask and what it supposedly does to you:

While the science is inconclusive, the device promised to rejuvenate aging skin using LED lights.


The Times quotes 49-year-old Jill Addeo, who used the IlluMask for two months and says her skin looks better: "…It's like there's a subtle airbrushing on my face."

There are two versions of the IlluMask: One without eyes, (let's call it "the gimp," "the facehugger," or the "son of Jason Voorhees") that's for anti-aging; and one with a Flashdance-metal-worker eye slit, that fights acne. The Times points out that the IlluMask has not been peer-reviewed by medical experts, although the anti-acne one has received clearance by the FDA. But as for the other one, which supposedly gives you younger-looking, more radiant, smoother, firmer skin? Well, the Times reminds you: "Anti-aging and other beauty claims do not require clearance from the FDA." Right. Because despite what "cosmeceutical" face cream ads may have told you, aging is not a disease that needs to be cured. Anyway, watch entertaining IlluMask videos here and here.

Me? I'm holding out for the Tommy Acid Queen version.

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If it's just LED lights I feel like I can make it at home with cardboard and a string of Christmas bulbs. Ima look so good.