Deep in the recesses of Manhattan's East Village, there is an empty storefront that has been causing something between a scoff and full-blown outrage—the name of the place is Gestations, and it claims to be NYC's first bar for pregnant women. Brb, need to get some contact solution so my lenses don't get stuck to my eyelids WHEN I ROLL THE FUCK OUT OF MY EYEBALLS.
Gestations also has a huge billboard ad in Times Square featuring a pregnant woman in a sports bra and short shorts, giving a halfhearted thumbs up as a bottle of (what's made to look like) champagne pops off in front of her. Under the address of the bar is the line, "You're drinking for two now."
It makes sense why people are losing their shit over this, but at the same time, it's such an obvious troll that it's not even worth the rage. The place is either going to be some type of pregnant lady bar that offers non-alcoholic beverages with appetizers rich in calcium and folic acid. Ooh! Maybe they'll have pickles and ice cream as a dessert! Or! Maybe they'll have a vomitorium for that nausea.
Who knows?! The possibilities are endless! Maybe this thing is just a promotional gag for the Bartrendr app, a shitty bar-finding social media-ing phone app discreetly mentioned in that billboard ad, which among other things, allows you to label the crowd of a bar from a list of options that includes "Average Joe," "Glam," "Cougar," and "Brotha." NO REALLY.
Whatever Gestations' deal is, it's stupid. Even if is a healthy bar that serves overpriced virgin cocktails, this marketing ploy just shat all over the concept. Even if it's a bar that actually wanted to serve alcoholic beverages to pregnant women, they really just mucked up their PR. It's the emotional equivalent of a high school cheer squad doing an outdoor car wash. It's basically when your brother takes your hand and makes you slap yourself in the face, saying "Stop hitting yourself!" This is the Octomom of marketing.
Image via Gestation's Facebook.