Vacuums! They're not just for keeping your house clean or passive aggressively leaving in front of your roommates door hoping that one day he or she will take the goddamn hint. They're also for helping cats be even more self indulgent!
Okay, I am terrible at reading cats, but I think this cat is cool being vacuumed. Now if you would excuse me, I am going to apply the vacuum cleaner we have to my belly. Not with any of the attachments, I'm just going to put the whole damn thing on my body and see if that does anything. SCIENCE BECKONS.