The thing that makes the Wall Street Journal the highlight of my morning is that its meagerly-compensated, unionized reporters have to spend all their time around rich people and they just hate them so fucking much. But then, as reporters, they have to be "objective," so basically they air their grievances with the gap between their income and those of the heinous people they cover by obsessively chronicling every self-awarded bonus, board-"approved" severance package, casually backdated stock option — and on the flip side, EVERY GODDAMN ASININE THING rich assholes do with all that much-deserved cash. Such as: give their toddlers money to start collections of fine art. In this video, you meet 14-year-old Taylor Houghton, whose mother has sunk $30,00 into his terribly highbrow art collection. (It is definitely wrong to say but is something about Taylor vaguely doable seeming?)

The collection includes a piece painted entirely of Hershey's chocolate, which reminded us of a friend of ours who used to paint exclusively with her own menstrual blood, which should maybe be the theme of Taylor's next small collection. Oh my God though, please read the story: it is insane. Four year olds who start collections in "happy colors," moms who use their son's art knowledge to undermine friends and prey on party guests, kids who get carried away at auctions and keep bidding just to keep the price going up, and the inevitable backlash from snooty gallery owners. Happy Friday, poors. Here's your first gift.

Small Collectors [WSJ]