These Startling Photos Prove Disney Takes Photoshopping Too Far

While more and more companies use Photoshop less and less to make their models look perfect, one company refuses to let their leading ladies look anything less than perfect. That company is Disney, and some leaked photos show exactly how far the mouse will go to hide the truth about its princesses. Why do you continue promoting unrealistic ideals, Disney? Why, when Ariel looks more like me than I ever hoped for? (My unibrow game is FLAWLESS.)

Before these perfect shiny-teethed ladies (that’s vaseline, you fools! Vaseline!) were kissing Tom Cruise lookalikes, they were hiding secrets such as parasitic twins, upside down arms and —oh, the horror — entire bodies covered in eyes. I guess the good news for Snow White is that she’s got a job if Stephen King ever makes an animated version of I Am the Doorway. I guess that bad news is that for the hordes of us who are covered from head to toe in eyes, our role model won’t come, someday or otherwise.