These Jingling Holiday Man Thongs Will Melt Your Eyes into Figgy Pudding

It's one day before Christmas and all through the halls, something special is jingling...surprise, it's your balls! (Yes, that is the actual model in the photos.)

Still desperately searching for that special gift for your dad or a festive outfit to really greet Santa in? Oh Cheri has you covered with two special thongs that will really stripe your candy cane — haha, I don't even know what that means, but it sounds gross — and make anyone's dick appropriately festive for this, the celebration of the birth of our lord Jesus Christ/presents. One thong features a festive santa hat that will, I guess raise up, as one inflates their chimney (with a little ball at the end for, again, guessing, the head of the penis) and the other is a deformed ball-jingling reindeer whose Chernobyl-scarred face can be lifted up to expose "Santa's Little Helper' — which one of my colleagues has suggested is more pedophilic than playful.

Buzzfeed's Julie Gerstein, who was the first to break the story of the holiday thongs, points out that even the model looks like he has no idea what's going on or how he was tricked into taking part in this photo shoot — cooping, perhaps? —not once or twice, but THREE TIMES...because the classic sequined red thong is also available for purchase.

IMPORTANT: If you're the model in these photos, please join us in the comments to discuss your process.



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Images via Oh Cheri/The Very Depths of Hell

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