Only weeks ago, the internet was rocked by the revelation that cats, who had previously been thought to be revenge-thirsty monsters, may not be dicks just for the sake of it. That’s a nice thought, but just one look at this video of cats ruining birthdays will prove something very important: cats hate you, cats hate your life and cats don’t give a shit about your special day.

“Happy Birthday,” the cats in this video say. “Happy birthday, we hope you die soon.”

(I still want one very badly)


Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.