There's No Freakout Like a SoulCycle Freakout

Perhaps you noticed wild-eyed, Spandex-clad society types roaming the streets of New York City this weekend, hungry for EXERCISE. Those would be SoulCycle obsessives whose workouts have been thrown into chaos, absolute chaos by renovations to one of the company’s downtown Manhattan outposts.

You see, their Tribeca location is currently closed for expansions. Which, yes, sounds like a bit of an inconvenience. But SoulCycle devotees (regulars include Oprah and Lena Dunham) are known for their less-than-sanguine reactions to any disruption of their workouts. And of course, the New York Times Styles sectionwas on the scene: “I nearly cried when I read it,” confessed area woman Monet Berger. “My heart sank.” She continued:

“After I’m done crying, I’ll get over it and go to another studio reluctantly,” said Ms. Berger, who, when choosing a New York City apartment with her husband, evaluated the proximity of those under consideration to the TriBeCa “Soul sanctuary,” as the company refers to the studio.

It’s not as easy as simply finding another spin class, though. Heavens, no. “Once you go Soul, you can’t go back,” said Tribeca regular Suzanne Xie. Many are attempting to shove their way into the West Village outpost, which has added classes. But it’s no cakewalk, let me tell you:

With classes now taking place there every half-hour at peak times, the already mad crush to sign in and find a locker is more of a workout than usual.

And there’s the loss of V.I.P. status that regular TriBeCa riders enjoy at their mother ship. At other Soul studios, the receptionists do not recognize them (or know their shoe size). It then becomes an even steeper challenge to charm staff members the riders do not know in order to land a slot in class.

Oh, the humanity! Keep the SoulCyclers in your prayers, everyone—at least until the Tribeca location reopens in a mere three weeks.