Love it: "...the more they are involved with careers, the more they are idle, the more they are childless, the more they are fashionably dressed... the longer is the list of their troubles." [Village Voice]
ACCEPTED Atomic Weight: 120
Physical Properties: boils at nothing and freezes at any minute.
Occurence: found wherever man exists
Chemical Properties: ...Violent reaction if left alone, able to absorb great amount of food matter...
Uses: highly ornamental....is probably the most effective income-reducing agent known
ARE YOU SHITTING ME? ****HEADDESK***