The Teen Choice Awards' Twerk-a-thon Is an Embarrassing Nightmare

Here’s a riddle for you: What’s more embarrassing than everyone at the Teen Choice Awards twerking* at once in order to break a world record? Answer: When the hosts of the Teen Choice Awards ask everyone to twerk at once in order to break a world record and practically no one participates. (Well, at least Hushpuppy was enthusiastic about it.)

Be warned before pressing play on the above video. If you’re anything like me, your inner monologue will go something like this: “AUUUUGGHHHHHH UGGGGGHHHH OWWWW. IT BURNS! THE SECOND HAND HUMILIATION BUUUUUUUUUURNS.”

*A note on twerking: Why the hell is this considered a modern trend? Not to go all Andy Rooney on you, but at school dances back in 8th grade — Georgia O’Keeffe Middle School, Class of 2001 — “twerking” was just what we called dancing, only we didn’t get the fancy title or hashtag campaign to promote it with. (For the best. Definitely for the best…) In other words, twerking has been around for ages so all of these 22-year-old ABC Family/CW actors need to start showing the art form some respect. You, too, Harry Styles.