The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the World's Worst Tan Lines

Illustration for article titled The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the Worlds Worst Tan Lines

For some reason, swimsuit designers across the board decided to get really "creative" with bikinis and one-pieces this year. Everything has weird cut-outs or lattice work. Unsurprisingly, they leave nightmare tan lines.

Illustration for article titled The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the Worlds Worst Tan Lines

Terrible tan lines aside, disposing of a bikini like this could pose a threat to marine conservation. Be kind to dolphins: cut up your stupid, ugly bikinis before throwing them in the trash.

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Illustration for article titled The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the Worlds Worst Tan Lines

Did you ever see those those posters at the butcher shop that diagram a cow or a pig to explain the cuts of meat? Yeah, nobody wants to look like a dead cow or a dead pig when naked. (But if you do, you can purchase that swimsuit here.)

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Illustration for article titled The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the Worlds Worst Tan Lines

Nothing says "summer fun" like giving your tits some Disney villain eyebrows.

Illustration for article titled The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the Worlds Worst Tan Lines
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A swimsuit that creates a Rorschach test on your body could provide an enlightening look into the psyche of those who see you naked. (This woman's husband told her that her boobs looked like Ritz crackers, so there's that.)

Illustration for article titled The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the Worlds Worst Tan Lines
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This bikini is a really good way to get out of having to be someone's bridesmaid this summer since you'd never be able to elegantly pull off a strapless dress.

Illustration for article titled The Strappy Swimsuit Trend Creates the Worlds Worst Tan Lines
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The Jezebel staffer who modeled this swimsuit texted her "after" picture to her boyfriend. He wrote back, appropriately, "What happened?"

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DISCUSSION

gingerisaconstruct
Ginger Is A Construct

As a ginger I don't know what confuses me more, the idea that someone wouldn't wear sunscreen, or the idea that people tan so evenly! PSA: Always put on sunscreen before you put the suit on!

This ish is no joke though, a friend of mine got a baaad burn while wearing a racer-back tank-top and you could see that outline for over 6 months.

Also, this is hardly a new phenomenon: my mom told me she had a white bikini with black polka dots in the 1970s and she got a burn through the fabric, leaving her spotted!