The Ruthless Kiss-and-Tell World of College Hookup Websites

Thanks to humankind’s fondness for both talking and humping, we’ve been gossiping about sex from the moment we were socially able to do so. But — as we know — the internet changes everything, including campus culture, where gossiping about sex has become a dedicated online pastime. Judging by the rising popularity of college hookup websites, Consent 2.0 might have to go beyond “this is what I’m comfortable doing, physically,” to include, “please don’t brag about my oral sex skills — or lament my lack thereof — on Facebook to thousands of my peers.” That seems unlikely.

UC Berkeley Hookups is a Facebook page that allows students to anonymously dish about their sexual exploits — it’s received some media attention as of late, since sex + coeds will always = googly-eyed readers. But there are tons of other colleges with similar Facebook pages and Twitter feeds to their name: UCSB Hookups has over 8,000 likes (UC Berkeley’s page has around 3,000) while USC Hookups has nearly 1,700. All “Hookups” pages have a fair number of racist, sexist and homophobic posts, most comments detail how blacked-out one or both parties were at the time, and some of the people being discussed seem rather identifiable.

From UCSB Hookups:

To the girl named Yiselle that I’ve met once and have seen at the sueno frat house quite a few times. I think you are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met and you have a set of amazing boobs. Every time I see you, you are dancing with your girl friends. I would do anything to not only dance with you but to fuck you all night long while I suck on your huge titties. Let me know if you’re interested 😉

Dear marissa (i think thats what it was… ik it started with an m),
You crazy motherfucker. We were both at DP and im pretty sure i saw you hookup with a few other dudes earlier that night, but once i saw your sexy ass body i knew you were mine. We were both beyond gone when we started hooking up.

I met this guy named Cal at a party a few weeks back. He was really shy but had a really great sense of humor and he liked the same music as me. We went back to his apartment, and right as we were about to fuck, we walk in on his roomate giving his black girlfriend what she referred to as his ‘strong seven’. i was quite frightened and ran all the way back to my apartment. Cal, will you contact me somehow?

This past Friday I was shit faced and looking to fuck. I plucked this cute little drunk girl from a party to come back to my place. We started making out on my deck then as I was fingering her I realized I had gotten blood all over me. At this point she was falling over and being a sloppy mess so I carried her into my house, threw her on my couch and went to grab a burrito. In her drunken slumber she started moaning and screaming so loud-it was so funny they started filming her for their enjoyment. We all went to bed and in the morning she was gone and all I had to remember her by was a puddle on my couch. She left her purse, phone & keys and the next day we were anticipating her royal arrival but she was too embarrassed and sent her roommate instead. Random girl: I’m not asking you clean my couch, just come back and claim your dignity.

From UC Berkeley Hookups:

To the Norwegian chick i met at FIJI, doing blow off each other was great….especially when you did it off my dick with your mouth following by giving me the best head Ive had in past weekends. I think your name was Line.

Dear DKE boy,
You were the only guy around so I agreed to dance with you even though I was towering over you. I didn’t even mind when you started grabbing my ass in a pretty sexual way. But what the hell were you doing when you reached up my dress?! Your finger felt like a spastic shovel digging through my vag. And when I pulled away, it wasn’t because I felt violated it was because I felt like your jagged nails were going to ruin by precious puss you petite prick! Please learn how to properly finger fuck, you’re giving yourself and your frat a bad rep.
Never yours,
Girl in dress.

From USC Hookups:

…lotta of shots deep. As I am rising in the elevator, thoughts in my head were confused. Its not that I didnt get any pussy, I just didnt find the right opportunity to get my shit innnn. Entering my friends dorm, girls in the bathroom ya know puking and shit.. I go to sit on the couch by one of the girls that was supposably passed out. In the middle of a drunk convo, the girl would not stop pushing me with her feet, so I grabbed her ankle like a BOSS, letting her know that I noticed her noticing me. I tell my friend “get out of the room right now.” as he lays on the ground he mumbles “handle it bro, handle it.” once i told him hes a dick, I cuddling behind the girl.. well you know the rest 😉 #ThatJustHappened #TurnUp

Gwen, you absolutely made my night at the Beta registered. It was damn hot in there but we made it so much hotter; my neck was sore the next day from constantly tilting to the left. I think most people prefer the right, but I’m left handed you see.

To the short Chinese guy in the cinematic school, you gave me the worst sex ever. SERIOUSLY. practice… Also, shave your beard please.

Outraged students are fighting back via a variety of tactics, from launching UC Berkeley Consent, which features “anonymous consensual stories about hooking up” (uh, but did both people consent to the telling that followed the kissing?) to pressuring the administration to take action.

USC’s Undergraduate Student Government unanimously voted last week “to pass a resolution that mandates the university administration to actively investigate the Facebook page USC Hook-Ups and determine what further action is needed to address the negative impacts of the page.”

“One of my problems with this page is that the negative material posted is celebrated and rarely contested,” Assistant Director of the Women’s Student Assembly Anh Phan told The Daily Trojan. “This page contains the most horrific conversations between students and other Facebook users and paints a negative portrait of our university.”

The resolution argues that “the derogatory and explicit nature of the posts on the page is detrimental to the image of the university” since it’s publicly viewable, and that the page doesn’t support the USC Code of Conduct’s Policy and Procedures on Sexual Misconduct and Sexual Assault since a startling number of posts describe possible sexual assault (and underage drinking/super drunken sex).

The core problem with these sites is that they discourage actual communication between sexual partners in favor of bragging (and, let’s be real, probably lying) to strangers. But since most universities are too busy battling allegations that they mishandled sexual assault reports or burying rape surveys to tackle unsavory Facebook pages — and given the typical, disappointing administrative response — or lack thereof — to similar issues (Oberlin’s message board drama and Towson University’s “White Student Union” come to mind) — we wouldn’t hold our breath waiting for officials or Facebook (ha!) to try and protect students’ privacy. Changing campus culture is hard enough; asking anonymous people to be less crappy is near impossible.