The Rumors About Teresa Giudice, Who Is NOT Holding a Gun to My Head Right Now, Are Incorrect

What???? The tabloids are saying that Teresa Giudice might have been responsible for originating those rumors about fellow Real Housewives of New Jersey castmate Jackie Goldschneider’s husband cheating that she claimed to have heard from someone else. But did she?? I, a woman sitting by herself typing freely of her own volition, don’t know about that…

According to some unnamed sources who spoke to Page Six (no names?? could be Jackie!!), Giudice (the universally beloved and quite beautiful cast member who also happens to be the ONLY one of those women to appear on all 11 seasons of the Jersey-based iteration of the Housewives franchise) was purportedly worried about losing her spot on the Bravo reality show, so she made up some shit to keep her plotline going—on Opposite Day!! Teresa has only EVER told the truth. Yeah, she’s shaking tables… Tables made of lies!!

Speaking of lies, here are some. One of those shady sources told Page Six that Giudice is “being watched by the network and needed a story to stir the pot… She had zero proof [that he cheated] and made up the story because Bravo has been getting rid of original Housewives. [Teresa’s] too expensive, and they can filter through different women. She’s desperately trying to stay relevant.” Desperate? Ha! Not this wonderful woman who has never ONCE told me she has locked my dog who normally lives with my ex in a basement and will only set him free if I blog what she tells me to blog.

Giudice’s lawyer, a good man, has denied these LIBELOUS allegations. “When you are as real and authentic as Teresa has been, you don’t need to pull stunts or manufacture story to be relevant and that is ridiculous for anyone to suggest otherwise,” he told Page Six.

In summation, Teresa Giudice: beautiful, good mom, never lied about fuckin’ Jackie, never laid a finger on my dog.

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