Rather recently, I compiled on the fly a list of the most absurd things guys had said or done while trying to fuck me, inspiring a rather impassioned response from many of you. It also inspired a response from The Times' Sathnam Sanghera, who said that "modern man is an impossible position when it comes to seduction." Um, actually, that's sort of the point. Seduction, is after all, by definition the act of convincing a woman to do something she doesn't want to do.The difficulty with all the post-feminist whining about how women have "rules" that change that men don't know how to follow is that it continues to be a failure to recognize that women are all different, just as all dudes are different. Some women and some men want to kiss on the first date; others want to fuck; and yet others want to wait on one or both counts. Some women want doors opened and checks paid and still others will open the door and split the check and consider it a wonderful time โ€” and some guys will be offended if you try to pay, or open your own door, or will be ecstatic that you don't care. And โ€” this might be shocking โ€” there was no halcyon time when women all wanted the same thing any more than there was one when men did. Women were always individuals with individual likes, dislikes and (to a degree) moral values โ€” and yes, so were men. So, look, obviously I shouldn't go out with a 35-year-old Mormon virgin who wants to wait for marriage any more than he should go out with me. Dating is about finding the person with whom you are actually compatible when you're both being yourselves. If Sanghera doesn't like women that want to adopt cats, then the women he dates should probably tell him that on the first date so they don't waste anyone's time. If you're the jealous type, hell, believe me, there are guys (and girls) who are perfectly happy in those kinds of relationships. If you are looking to get married in the next year, don't date a guy for the next 11 months who isn't and then get all upset when he doesn't propose. And if you're the type of guy who just wants to fuck random girls he meets in bars, then continue trolling bars for random girls looking to fuck random dudes โ€” just don't be mad when we aren't all looking for that. And if somebody doesn't like you for being a cat-lover or the kind of person who fucks on the first date or the one who wants to wait for marriage, don't pretend to be what you aren't to be liked or (even worse) fake liking the other person. Be who you are so that someone likes you. Woman Have So Many Don'ts. What's A Guy To Do? [The Times]