The Rihanna Rihport: Gorgeous Gown Gala Edition!!

Illustration for article titled The Rihanna Rihport: Gorgeous Gown Gala Edition!!

Rihanna quit Instagram in May. The Rihanna Rihport is where we try to cope.

DATELINE: Rihanna, October 31—This week rumors swirled around whether Rihanna's eight album will be released in a Beyoncé style surprise, owing to reports that Timbaland posted a drawing of Rihanna on his Facebook page. But Lord Jesus Rihanna didn't pay any of that no mind because she was too busy HEATING UP THE RED CARPET FOR #TOMFORD!!!!

YES, Navy, the day of the AmFar Gala finally arrived, where Rihanna got to celebrate her good friend Tom Ford and his humanitarian contributions to humanity. She did so, of course, by WEARING Tom Ford, in a pasties gown from his burlesque-inspired Spring 2015 collection, and LOOKING AMAAAAAAAAAAZINGGGG.

Illustration for article titled The Rihanna Rihport: Gorgeous Gown Gala Edition!!

Holla Holla! This look is murdaaa!

Of course, Rihanna wasn't there just to LOOK good, she is always working and this time she had a job to do, and that job was to INTRODUCE Tom Ford! She was VERY, EXTREMELY good at doing this introduction, and talked about Tom Ford's legacy with designing clothes and working with AmFar, and even reminded everyone that Tom Ford's first movie A Single Man garnered an ACADEMY AWARD nomination for best actor for COLIN. FIRTH.

Also, in the background of that video you can hear some woman say "Well that's quite a dress" and that woman sounds disapproving and like she thinks that Rihanna is doing a BAD thing, but guess what, JOKE'S ON THAT WOMAN if she is at a Tom Ford concert and she doesn't even know how to recognize that "QUITE THE DRESS" was even designed by TOM FORD! RICH L.A. LADY, YOU ARE EXTREMELY DECLASSÉ!!

So also, the AmFar Gala was also a fundraiser and our Rihanna had a lot of FUN doing the auction thing because not only did she get to present #TOMFORD with the #TOMFORDAWARD, she got to go SHOPPING! Riri bought two things: this photograph of Elizabeth Taylor SLAYYYEEEEENNNNNNGG for $100,000, and a pair of Harry Winston diamond earrings for $35,000, spending a grand total of $135,000! Whoo! Rihanna can really spend some scrilla, if you get my drift, but that's okay cause she DESERVES IT!

Okay so, ALSO, there was a BIG, EXCLUSIVE article of information in the web newspaper Hollywood Life that let us in on a part of Rihanna we haven't heard much about lately and that part is her DATING LIFE! We bet her onetime rumored flame Drake would LIKE to know, too! Well, it turns out that we haven't heard much because Rihanna is CHOOSING to not HAVE one because she is having too much fun on her own flying around and wearing Rogue perfume and JUST BEING RIHANNA:

"Rihanna is numb to men at this point. She doesn't understand them and is rather tired of trying to. She'd rather stay single and alone in her bed before giving it up and exposing her heart to more disappointment. Her exes are her exes and they're that for a reason," our source tells us EXCLUSIVELY.

"She's can't concern herself with who Drake sleeps with these days. She's over him. She's over Chris as far as anything sexual goes," adds the source. Drake and Chris "belong to other women now and she wants the best for the both of them. But in no way does she care at all about who they're sleeping with these days and she would hope they wouldn't care who she's with," explains the source.

Illustration for article titled The Rihanna Rihport: Gorgeous Gown Gala Edition!!

Rihanna don't need no man! I'll have what she's having!

So also, earlier last week, Rihanna traveled to MACY'S in ATLANTA to celebrate her new male version of Rogue perfume, and aside from standing there looking GORGEOUS and spraying Rogue for males, she also wore one of her BEST necklaces in a big closet full of amazing necklaces: a NAMEPLATE that says FENTY in the FENDI LOGO! NAVY COULDN'T YOU JUST DIE?!

Illustration for article titled The Rihanna Rihport: Gorgeous Gown Gala Edition!!

Spraying Male Rogue!

Good thing she looks so STUNNING because we will have to just stare at this until new music comes out! Even Perez Hilton, who is always happy, is sad! (RIRI FAVED THAT TWEET!! WHAT COULD IT MEAN?) UGH even though it's not confirmed as the release date, NOVEMBER 25 cannot come FAST enough. C'mon Riri, give us something to give thanks for! (If you're a Navy fan in the States, that is!) RIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHUGHHHHH.


Top images via Getty. Bottom image via RGK/Pacific Coast News.

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rihanna needs no man and she can literally have any woman. she is living the life man.

I have to laugh at the "drake and chris belong to other women part though" like they're people and I'm pretty sure slavery ended a while ago so they don't belong to anybody.