The Pros & Cons Of Phone Sex

Illustration for article titled The Pros  Cons Of Phone Sex

Welcome to Jezebel After Midnight, in which we indulge in sexy sex talk.

We spend lots of time typing. Busy lives rely on technology, and sometimes texting and emailing are the glue holding a relationship together. But there are times when you want to get intimate with someone who's not, you know, in the actual room with you. That's when phone sex comes in handy. Phone sex is not a replacement for the pleasure of having another human being touch you, of feeling skin on skin, but it has its merits. It also has quite a few drawbacks.

PROS

  • Aural stimulation can be very titillating, and listening to someone moaning, breathing heavy and gasping is pretty hot.
  • Phone sex is can be a guided tour of masturbation. Describing your actions — and having someone describe his or hers — adds another level or eroticism, and can be informative for both parties.
  • After orgasm, you get to sleep alone. No one will steal your covers.
  • There's no awkward morning after goodbye moment if you don't want one.

CONS

  • International and long distance callers: Your phone bill may spike.
  • If you get excited and lie down on your iPhone you'll find yourself disconnected right quick.
  • There is nothing sexy about "can you hear me now?"
  • There is nothing hot about "you're breaking up."
  • If you really wish someone would just hold you, you'll find the phone is a shitty substitute.
  • Sometimes what feels amazing sounds ridiculous. Depending on your mood, quirks and taste, "I'm gonna rub my fat dick all over those titties" may seem crass, coarse, and worst of all, a turn off.
  • After orgasm, you'll be sleeping alone.

Agree? Disagree? Anyone done video chat or Skype sex?

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DISCUSSION

thecowpalace-old
The_Cow_Palace

Most people, at least the ones I sleep with—and myself included—don't actually talk much during sex. I've never had a partner say shit like, "You're such a dirty girl! Do you like my hard dick deep inside of you?" Or whatever people say.

Phone sex, then, is a totally different type of sex, like camping sex or pool sex or whatever. It's a great way to also find out things your partner might like that you were totally not aware of because they never said anything before—or maybe because they weren't even aware that they liked this thing having never had to articulate their sexual needs so explicitly before.

Yeah, it's totally stupid and dorky, but then, sex is ridiculous to begin with. As is sleeping.