The Princess Must Die-aries: Zenia Mucha, Princess Of The Princessation Of All Media

Illustration for article titled The Princess Must Die-aries: Zenia Mucha, Princess Of The Princessation Of All Media

Meet Zenia Mucha. Looks deceptively like Glenda the Good Witch, no? Actually she's the Karl Rove of the Magic Kingdom, a minister of Disney propaganda so effective that last month, just for fun, she decided to INUNDATE THE ENTIRE MEDIA WITH EVIL PRINCESS STORIES.


Exhibit A, a few weeks back, was a Wall Street Journal story on how Disney was getting into the bridal gown business:

As Ms. Kelly sees it, Cinderella is "classic glamour" — the dresses in her line come in high-shine satin with ball-gown skirts and make generous use of silver embroidery and crystals. Snow White has a slightly more conservative look dubbed "sweet elegance." Ariel and Jasmine models are considerably racier. Ariel, who played the title role in "The Little Mermaid," has a "sultry allure" and is "comfortable showing her body." Jasmine, from "Aladdin," is "bohemian chic," and her various dresses are big on sheath and lace. In all, Disney will offer 34 princess designs for its first season.


The princessiveness did not end there, however. Oh no....

Then last week Disney announced a new spin on the princess story: Princesses can not only be OLD, they can be black, and hail from impoverished, destitute dens of addiction and illiteracy!

Now comes the long-awaited link between princesses and science: liking princesses is genetic.

"We believe it is an innate desire in the vast majority of young girls to play out the fantasy of being a princess," says Disney spokesman Gary Foster. "They like to dress up, they like to role-play. It's just a genetic desire to like pink, to like the castle, to turn their dads into the prince."


And we haven't even started on this month's issue of Glamour. When will it stop?
Fairy-Tale Wedding? Disney Can Supply The Gown [WSJ]
Disney's First Black Princess To Debut In New Orleans[USA Today]
Little Girls Carried Away On A Pink Wave Of Princess Products [San Antonio Express-News]

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