Though I generally defer to the vast wisdom of my colleague Ashley Reese on matters relating to politics and mint chocolate, as Jezebel’s two leading Succession experts, our opinions vary wildly. For instance, I believe Kendall Roy is incredibly hot, and Ashley is wrong but respects my rightness. Here are our predictions for the least important election question you will read today or perhaps ever: How would the characters from Succession vote?
Emily: Trump supporter, Trump financial backer, close personal friend of Mitch McConnell, forces whatever child he’s currently mad at to answer the phone and tell Lindsey Graham he’s too busy to play golf this weekend or ever.
Ashley: Absolutely voted for Trump. I mean, he thinks Trump is an absolute idiot, but he’s a convenient one. His news network would basically be a Trump propaganda vehicle.
Emily: Wrote in Marianne Williamson.
Ashley: Connor has always given me libertarian vibes, so I’m going with him voting for Jo Jorgensen. However, he has presidential aspirations of his own, so maybe he’d write himself in.
Emily: He votes how his dad tells him. Doesn’t want to, talks to some blow about it.
Ashley: Kendall maintains that he’s a New York Republican: Fiscally conservative but chill when it comes to social issues. He voted for Trump in 2016 but just can’t let himself do it in 2020.
Emily: Has never voted and is not registered.
Ashley: He wrote in Kanye West and posted his ballot on Instagram to troll. Libs yelled at him in the comment section but the loyal chuds who follow him loved it.
Emily: Says she voted Biden but absolutely voted Trump.
Ashley: I think she would have voted Biden and supported Elizabeth Warren in the primary. She definitely thinks that the Democrats are spending too much time with SJW bullshit though.
Emily: Voted Trump, would not be able to correctly pick a picture of the vice president out of a lineup despite running a major news network.
Ashley: He voted for Trump but only because he always votes for the Republican and he’s a creature of habit.
Emily: Voted Biden and assumes everyone else did too, bless his sweet little angel baby heart.
Ashley: He definitely voted Biden after voting for Bernie during the primary. He spent months injecting “Bern” jokes into everything. He bought that Biden campaign fly swatter though because he thought it was pretty funny and he had a fly problem last summer.
Emily: Voted for Harris via Biden. Registered Roman to vote without his knowledge, voted for Harris with that ballot as well.
Ashley: Voted Biden but she is not happy about his tax plan!