Illustration for article titled The Planet Is Dying Because Of Single Women

Hey, freemales! Yes, you, single ladies. In addition to being a stain the fabric of society by not being married, you are ruining the entire planet. According to a story in today's Guardian, energy conservation goals are being fouled up by "singletons." In its publication called Social Trends, the UK's Office for National Statistics reported tat recycling has increased from 7% to 31% over the last 10 years and domestic waste going to landfills has fallen from 84% to 58%. Yay! But energy consumed by lighting and electrical appliances has increased by 136% over the past 30 years, boo. And part of the problem? "Changing family structures."


The report states: "An increase in the number of people living alone may be thwarting the gains from energy efficiencies." So — all the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me. And tell me: Do we need to start crocheting by candlelight instead of liveblogging ANTM? Oh wait, kids are fucking up the planet, too. Nevermind.


Rise In Singletons Thwarts Moves To Save Energy [Guardian]
Kids Are Killing The Planet! [Huffington Post]
Earlier: Single Women: Psyched Or Sad?
If You're Single And You Know It, Raise Your Hand

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