The Mighty Ducks Taught Jake Gyllenhaal the Meaning Of Pain

Apparently, Jake Gyllenhaal was cast in the 1992 cult classic The Mighty Ducks and was not allowed to participate — thus introducing his pure, untarnished little heart to a lifetime of pain.

On Wednesday, July 22, Gyllenhaal, who is starring in the newly-released boxing porn film Southpaw, spoke with Howard Stern on his Sirius XM radio show about this and other disappointments.

“I definitely remember crying on the kitchen counter,” Gyllenhaal said. “I was like you guys are crazy.”

“My parents were like, ‘Look, you’re about to enter junior high school, you gotta get your education. That’s the most important thing. I promise you, you hate us now, but you’ll thank us later,’” the actor recalled. “And I do.”

“I think all that movie stuff is meant more for adults and I think it can mess you up.”

But before you’re all like, “No, Jake’s parents suck! I wanna see pre-teen him him play mediocre hockey!” think about how his career might look post-Ducks? I mean, look at this crew of misfits:

By far the most famous one (read: currently working) in the gang is Joshua Jackson. Sure, he owned a successful creek for awhile and is now in a relationship with the too-beautiful Diane Kruger but look at this IMDB page. Not much coming through for the OG duck.