The Middle East's Most Expensive Chandelier Destroyed by Croc-Throwing Teenager

A Kuwaiti teenager is in some hot water after flying into a shoe-throwing rage and destroying a chandelier worth over $1.8 million.

The teen was shopping at the 360 Mall when, for reasons unclear to investigators (futility of modern life?), he removed his shoe and launched it at the giant orange and red light fixture suspended from the shopping center’s cathedral ceiling. Once the shoe hit the chandelier, it detached and fell to the ground, shattering. Upon questioning, the thrower admitted to launching the glass-destroying slipper but said he didn’t think the force of the throw would be enough to bring down such a large item. Authorities are considering dropping all charges against him.

The teenager’s shoe? A Croc.

I understand this kid’s frustration. Once, when I was tailgating at my alma mater, my sandal broke and I found myself in a giant parking lot in need of a new shoe. I figured the bookstore or stadium shop would have something reasonably understated that could tide me over for the day. Alas, the store didn’t stock anything plain- not slides, not ballet flats, not flip flops, not white tennis shoes. It did, however, stock hundreds and hundreds of pairs of officially NCAA-licensed Croc clogs festooned with my school’s logo. That was my only option. I spent the day wearing metallic gold crocs with my shorts, being photographed with my old college chums looking like I’d just been interrupted in the middle of some geriatric gardening and decided to wander over to the stadium and see what all this crazy football-noise was about. My shame and self-consciousness was so great that I don’t even remember if we won the game that day. In my mind, that was Croc Day. Say what you will about those shoes’ comfort and durability and practicality; they are about the least desirable thing to be wearing while hanging out with people you haven’t seen since college.

With that in mind, what’s truly amazing is that the Kuwaiti chandelier was able to withstand the teenager’s entering the mall in the first place, as Crocs are so ugly that everything beautiful within a 50 foot radius of them shatters.