The Men's Beach Volleyball Uniforms Need an Overhaul

Illustration for article titled The Mens Beach Volleyball Uniforms Need an Overhaul

With every Olympic Games, the skimpy uniforms worn by the Women's Beach Volleyball teams grab attention. According to the Huffington Post, there was a press conference on Wednesday, and player Phil Dalhausser discussed the fact that the ladies wear teeny two-pieces while the men wear tops and shorts. "I'm OK with this. They're way prettier than us," he said. Todd Rogers, a medalist in 2008, agreed:

"It just doesn't look as beautiful. The reality is men are driven more by their vision and women are not, so I just don't think it would help. I've practiced in Brazil where the Brazilians are wearing Speedos and it just doesn't look good. To see a guy's package is just not the same."

Advertisement

Dude. First of all, It is the same. We've been conditioned to think it is not the same, but it is. You wanna see ladyparts? You should see man parts too. Second of all, let's forget about the package. Let's just focus on the fact that while the women are diving into the sand with exposed bellies, you guys are wearing shirts. What the fuck. Take your shirts off. TAKE YOUR SHIRTS OFF. Some Olympians agree:

April Ross, competing for the women, told press, "We argue for [the men to go sans shirts] all the time... Men have such amazing bodies, too. They shouldn't be wearing tank tops. Give them shorts and make them go without a shirt."

Advertisement

Exactly. Let's see your abs.

And you don't have to wear a tiny Speedo to make the uniform better. Ditch those loose knee-length shorts, for crying out loud. What about some square-cut trunks? If they're good enough for Elvis, Alain Delon and James Bond, they're good enough for the Olympics.

Illustration for article titled The Mens Beach Volleyball Uniforms Need an Overhaul
Illustration for article titled The Mens Beach Volleyball Uniforms Need an Overhaul
Advertisement

Another option: Low-cut trunks like the ones worn by the swim team in ridiculous warlock movie The Covenant. (Why yes, that is Tim Riggins/Taylor Kitsch third from the left.)

The point is: If the ladies are going to get objectified, so should the men. Show us some pecs and abs, get sand in your belly button. If the ladies can do it, so can you. Plus, I will be more likely to watch you play. And if you feel like I'm just watching to check out your body, well, now you know how the women's team feels.

Advertisement

2012 Olympics Volleyball: Bikinis For The Women... But What About The Men? [HuffPo]

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

MoRextraordinaire
MoRextraordinaire

It just doesn't look as beautiful.

This is pure bullshit. What anyone is really saying when they say something stupid like "A woman's body is a work of art! Men's bodies just aren't as good looking as women's bodies." is this:

"Women's bodies signify sex because women are the sex class. Women's bodies exist within a framework of misogyny that universally defines women in terms of male desire, male fantasy, and male power, and yes, the male gaze. Both men and women participate in and perpetuate this frame work. Men are not the sex class, and men's bodies do not signify sex. Men as a class have the privilege of appearing nude, not nude, or partially nude while still being complete human beings. When we suggest that men should appear nude or partially nude for aesthetic purposes, we feminize them in the sense of disrupting their class privilege. In a patriarchy, it is nonsensical to suggest that men should play the feminine, sexualized role, and so we reject it as absurd or undesirable. Thus the status quo where men are covered and women are uncovered is as it should be. Anyway, this stuff is hard, and I don't want to think about it, and I'm a woman and I like wearing skimpy stuff in public, so what's the big deal, anyway?"