The Meaning Of Life: Brought To You By Clint Eastwood, Esquire

Esquire has helpfully compiled quotes from 10 celebrities on the meaning of life.

Hidden amongst the vapid muck are a few genuine pearls of wisdom, like this quote from Clint Eastwood:

As you get older, you’re not afraid of doubt. Doubt isn’t running the show. You take out all the self-agonizing.

And Eminem’s secret to a happier life:

If you don’t overlook the fact of what you look like, then no one else will.

And then there’s this little gem from Shepard Smith:

Facts are good things to have when making decisions. If Sarah Palin didn’t know that Africa was a continent, I think that’s information that people could have used.

While Chloe Sevigny does not offer any significant insight about the meaning of life, she does hit on something that has bugged us before:

I always found it distracting to be watching a movie and there was a love scene and the girl had her bra on.

On the other hand, we have Paris Hilton:

The best thing I’ve ever bought with money is my house. I call it my Paris Palace. It’s beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over they say, “Hey, this looks just like you.”

And Jeb Bush:

The best thing that’s happened in my brother’s eight years in office is that since September 11, 2001, we haven’t been attacked on our soil. Given the fact that there are a lot of well-financed people in groups whose organizing principle is to destroy America, I would say that’s a pretty good accomplishment.

But the wisdom of Dwight Shrute (why is he on this list? Does Esquire think The Office is reality TV?) falls into a category of its own:

The difference between sex and love can usually be complicated, but I think I’ve found a way to keep them straight in my head: You love your parents, but you sex your girlfriend. I have it written down in a couple of places.