The Kim Zolciak Diet Plan

On last night’s Real Housewives, Kim decided that she would “rely on science” to maintain her figure by getting an in-home session of some pricey fat-reducing laser treatments—while eating pizza.

What’s even weirder and more extravagant (and pointless) than that is the fact that Kim admitted that she flies out to L.A. to get her hair dyed. You know, the hair that she covers with a wig, even when she’s sleeping. Everything about her is so Cheesecake Factory: Too much of everything you don’t need, but that you secretly like anyway.