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The Hamptons Want Nothing to Do With the Kardashians

Illustration for article titled The Hamptons Want Nothing to Do With the Kardashians

This summer, Kardashians Kourtney and Khloe are descending upon the beachy far reaches of Long Island for the filming of Kourtney & Khloe Take The Hamptons. Raising the stakes: Kourtney is reportedly pregnant, and Kim will be appearing on the show, as well.

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And the locals are shitting bricks.

See, the Hamptons have a reputation as a warm-weather playground for fancy folks from Manhattan — Wall Street types and their ilk. Picture an uneasy combination of the Harrison Ford remake of Sabrina and The Wolf of Wall Street. But apparently the Kardashians and accompanying media circus are just a bridge too far. Mustn't have reality TV stars trashing the neighborhood! (Besides Real Housewives, of course.) My God, it'll positively be the death-knell!

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According to Page Six, the landlord who DARED rent to these interlopers is catching hell. Irma Herzog, who runs longtime local institution the Driver's Seat, cut the girls a deal on a storefront for one of their boutiques. Now, "she's being tormented and harassed by Southamptonites," according to an "insider."

"People are going to avoid Southampton! [Irma] should be brought up on charges," ad exec Jerry Della Femina told Page Six, adding, "I view [the Kardashian situation] like people viewed the plague in the Middle Age. I just want to survive it." Yes, a couple of reality stars are definitely on par with a disease that killed a third of Europe's population and altered the course of world history. For sure.

"People are talking like it's Armageddon," added Steven Gaines, author of Philistine at the Hedgerow. "The Kardashians really repulse people because they are cheapening the [Hamptons] brand."

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Anyway, the joke's on everyone involved in this story because it takes two and a half hours to get to the Hamptons, and you might as well just hop on a plane and go to Florida, where you can swim amid gentle waves the temperature of bathwater. Of course, I might be biased because the only time I've ever been out there I misread the train schedule, got stuck overnight and spent my Saturday night sitting upright in the East Hampton train station. (A cop cruised by to investigate, poked his head in, and, having ascertained I was not a vagrant, left without saying a word.)

Tl;dr: The Kardashians and the summer residents of the Hamptons deserve each other and this will be the best gossip storyline of the summer.

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Photo via AP Images.

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DISCUSSION

Not all of us who live out here in the Hamptons are rich snobs. Most of us are actually just working people struggling to get by in a really expensive place to live. We depend on the wealthy to support our businesses, and so the cycle goes on. But this ridiculous family circus is going to wreak havoc on Southampton in a way that could really negatively impact local businesses and the people that live here year-round. Bottom line, we don't deserve each other - cut us some slack!