The Girls Named Spice: Then And Now

Illustration for article titled The Girls Named Spice: Then And Now

So as you've invariably heard, the Spice Girls have again become one! Above, you'll see the photo of all the girls, back together again, at the press conference in London today. To add to everyone's traumatic flashbacks, we've also assembled some details on what has transpired in the lives of the Fab Five up to the point this picture was taken. (Spoiler alert: Posh has become super thin!)

Illustration for article titled The Girls Named Spice: Then And Now

[Rolling Stone, July 1997]

Look at the prescient foreshadowing! Even then it was known that Posh (an innocent girl then named Victoria Adams) would be the only one destined for international super-stardom. Look at the way she dominates that cover, front and center! And [sigh] look how much prettier she looked then, still very thin, but not Biaphrin, her hair its natural color instead of cut short and poorly bleached. She married well, however!

Look at Ginger Spice! Little Geri Halliwell was the one who should have never been: The oldest Spice Girl with no singing capabilities whatsoever, she became the group's leader and star, in no small part becuase of that Union Jack swimming costume and white platform boots. The Geri of today? Just look at her: A single mom in hippie-wear. (She named her daughter Bluebell!) We assume she sits around, applying cellulite cream in the morning, listening to Joni Mitchell while steaming organic vegetables in the afternoon.

Baby Spice, Emma Bunton, was blonde and young and naive back then. And it sorta worked for her: That little girl face was annoying, to be sure — but it gave her personality. But the blonde, naive thing doesn't really hold when you're in your 30s. And the last time we saw her she was doing a spaghetti sauce commercial. Also, she's gained weight. Posh must love this.

Scary Spice or Mel B as she was known was the wacky one back then — the horns made out of hair and tongue stuck out in every photo. Now she's a single mom, fighting (and winning!) for confirmation of her baby's paternity. So we can't really bear her any ill-will for slutting it up in a fuschia corset and too-tight skirt now. Not her finest look, certainly, but the past year has not exactly been her finest anyway. Why aggravate the tragedy by telling her she looks ridiculous?

Last but not least there is that Sporty one, Mel C (Melanie Chisholm). Mel was the only one who could really carry a tune, but she always looked butch so no one ever really liked her. (But I hear she had a pretty good solo career in England once the group broke up?) Anyway, she certainly wins the most improved award of the bunch! If, that is, 'improvement" is defined as going femme with a better haircut and clothes and not wearing athletic gear to all public appearances!


Lead Photo: London, June 28. Image via Splash



Posh's boobs like she stuck them on this morning for the shoot. It's not bad enough that you look like a skeleton who got a bleach job from your little sister, but you have to dress like a ... I don't know, out of analogies on this one. It's bad, whatever it is.

That top picture is wallpaper material, baby.