You know what they call a quarter pounder in France? Nothing, you idiot. What do you think France is? Some middle American barnyard where you eat anything you pick up off the ground? Of course not. France is a place of Michelin stars and caviar yachts (the yacht is made of caviar), not shitty sandwiches from the U.S. of A. There, when you walk into a McDonald's (assumably a McDonald's inside Versailles' Hall of Mirrors), you better order the newly revealed McBaguette (two burger patties, lettuce and mustard on bread that according to one chef is "too chewy... and too soft") or you might as well be wearing a fanny pack and visor with "I HEART BUSH" printed on it.

France, it turns out, is one of the largest consumers of McDonald's in the entire world, second only to the United States (WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!). A large part of the chain's success in France (and many other foreign countries) is the ability to adapt to native dietary habits, though what that often ends up boiling down to is "too chewy...and too soft" versions of cultural comestibles. That, and that European ketchup is freaking disgusting.

(Relax, Euroheads. In real life, we all agree that France is awesome.)

McDonald's rolls out McBaguette in France [CBS This Morning]

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