Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

The First Lady Wore Leather Pants to the Kids' Choice Awards

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

The Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards gives celebs the license to be really fun and zany, which means the orange carpet is pretty exciting. It's difficult to go wrong — but some still managed to be fashion don'ts at an event where one of the best dressed women was wearing a green-slime bra.

Katy Perry's neon slime outfit — a reference to the beloved slime that's become synonymous with the awards show — is pitch-perfect for this event, but would be hideous anywhere else.

Advertisement

While I do think that Willow Smith looks extremely cool, it's hard for me to believe that this is the sartorial expression of an 11-year-old and not some expensive stylist.

Advertisement

I know that we're supposed to think that Jada Pinkett Smith is like this super hip mom, but I can't help but think that she's a lot like Amy Poehler's character in Mean Girls. "You kids keep me young!"

Advertisement

While I'm not fond of one-armed dresses, Kelly Osbourne looks pretty cute in her black party dress and hot pink shoes.

Advertisement

The adults: Heidi Klum, First Lady Michelle Obama, and Jennie Garth.

Advertisement

Ana Mulvoy Ten was on trend with her spikes and blue dress.

Advertisement

Actually, blue was by far the most popular color. I don't know if it's because all these girls' stylists told them that it was one of the few colors that wouldn't clash with the orange carpet or what. Anyway, there were a lot of blue sequins: Halston Sage, Jacqueline Emerson, and Gracie Dzienny.

Advertisement

Some of the better blues: Miranda Cosgrove, Kristen Stewart, and Isabelle Fuhrman.

Advertisement

And some of the not-so-good blues: Kelli Goss, Isabella Castillo, and Elizabeth Gillies, who looks a little older than her 18 years in that dress.

Advertisement

Their band name, One Direction, clearly refers to the trajectory of the comb they drag through their hair.

Advertisement

Keeping it light: Selena Gomez, Emma Stone, and Kiernan Shipka.

Advertisement

Rachel Crow, Amandla Stenberg, and Ariel Winter are all really good representations of how 13 and 14-year-olds should be dressing at these things. No stripper shoes, nothing too tight, no signs of cleavage, etc. They manage to have the edginess of a teenager without losing any of the sweetness of their youth, which is a delicate balance.

Advertisement

I've been trying to figure out a way to express how I feel about Molly Quinn's dress but all I keep typing is "ew" so I guess that will have to suffice. Karina Smirnoff looks like she's going out to dinner with her boyfriend's mom for the first time. And then there's Maria Canals-Barrera who looks like she's about to sing for tips in a brandy snifter at on top of a piano.