The (Boozy) Bride Wore White: Planning Jenna Bush's Wedding

Illustration for article titled The (Boozy) Bride Wore White: Planning Jenna Bush's Wedding

So, Jenna Bush is getting married this spring (which is a totally gross, opportunistic way to distract the American public from the war, btw) and her mama, Laura, has commissioned the biggest names in American fashion to submit sketches for her darling daughter's big day. (Think Jenna will get sauced at the reception?) After the jump, check out sketches of the contenders, with comments, suggestions and (not so) gentle urgings. Here stumbles the bride!

Illustration for article titled The (Boozy) Bride Wore White: Planning Jenna Bush's Wedding
  • 1. Vera Wang: All I can think of when I see this is Chris and Christian (aka Team Fierce's) "avant-garde" look from Project Runway two weeks ago. It's way too trendy for Jenna and a Texas country wedding. This is a Southern sorority girl we're talking about, here.
  • 2. J. Mendel: This tiered look screams "I'm pregnant and don't want daddy to know"!
  • 3. Arnold Scaasi: Could this dress be any more old-school? Whatever Laura wore to marry Georgie Porgy probably looked a whole lot like this. (It's probably what his Barbara wore in her wedding to George, Sr. too.) Jenna may be a Republican, but she's not old. She needs contemporary conservative. Not to be confused, of course, with "compassionate conservative".
  • 4. Carlos Miele: I can imagine Jenna in something like this; the strapless look is so traditional, and the bottom is full without being princess-y. (Jenna did teach children in South America; she's of the people!) One problem: Jenna's figure can come across as a little square, and this dress may not play up her curves.
  • 5. Amsale: The girl can drink her Secret Service detail under the table. No way in hell is she going to wear a dress strewn with flowers.
  • 6. Carmen Marc Valvo: Ooh, cool and modern without trying too hard; no avant-garde aspirations. Just stylish. And thus, possibly too good for Jenna. (See: Southern sorority girl, drinks like a fish, above.)
  • 7. Angel Sanchez: Interesting detailing in the front, but those spaghetti straps won't be doing Jenna any favors. Pass.
  • 8. Badgley Mischka: We have a winner! This dress has traditional styling, old-school glamour, romance, and class. And the White House can use all the class it can spin.
  • 9. Nicole Miller: The bustle in the back, draping across the front, and underlayers peeking out look old-fashioned, but not in a cool, vintage way. Too dated for an all-American party girl.
  • 10. Lela Rose: The scoop neck is unexpected and modern, but it just might be a little too fashion-forward for the stiff-necked blueblood Bush clan.

    11. Marc Bouwer: This shape might have looked good when Audrey Hepburn played Eliza Doolittle, but Jenna Bush, my friends, is no Audrey Hepburn. (Or John Kennedy.)
  • 12. Oscar de la Renta: Strikingly similar to the Badgley Mischka gown, this one is a teensy bit more sophisticated. And Jenna Bush just doesn't scream "sophistication."

Jenna Bush Wedding Dress Selections [StyleScoop]

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@JessicaLovejoy: Did you ever happen to see that Lil Bush cartoon on Comedy Central? Lil George brings orignal (Dad) George an Iraqi child for Father's Day. It was great!

Anyway, I'll take a number 6, a number 8, and a number 12. thx.