We know, we know: Ellen Fein, 50, she of nauseating self-help book The Rules, got married. Again. There's a big story in Sunday's New York Times. This is the woman who wrote all about snagging a guy — "Trust in the natural order of things," her book advises. "Namely, that man pursues woman." — and then had her husband leave her after 16 years of marriage. Was her divorce court claim of "abandonment" also the "natural order of things"? Anyway, after her divorce, this woman went to a singles weekend at sleep-away camp for adults in Connecticut. All together now: Ew. But wait! That's where she met Lance Houpt, her future husband.Of course, Ms. Fein had to stay true to the guidelines she prescribed for millions of women, so she didn't dare approach Mr. Houpt. She says: "I would never have initiated it, never in my life. Forget it. He's got to like me as much as I like myself." As much as your ex-husband did? Okay, that's mean. But is Ms. Fein to be commended for sticking to her "let the dude chase you" guns? When she's got one failed marriage under her belt already? The problem with playing little games like "don't call him, let him call you," is that while they may attract the type of guy who loves the chase — don't you have to spend your life running away? What is wrong with going with your gut and acting on instinct? Sometimes you'll fuck up, but you'll learn a lesson, and you won't have a random best-seller to blame or thank — you'll learn to rely on yourself. The Times oh-so-helpfully points out that Ms. Fein once said, "It is easier to stay married than to get married." Haha! Looks like both are quite a challenge. Hopefully Mr. Houpt, a 52-year-old entrepreneur, is Ms. Fein's Mr. Right. Maybe she didn't trick him into liking her. After all, even though Ms. Fein wrote The Rules, she also says: "You just need to have faith that your time will come. Everything is meant to be." Vows: Ellen Fein and Lance Houpt [New York Times]
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@rednrowdy: You know, not really on the whole "being considered hot by the male population". Much like a guy knows when you are sending a signal that you wanna be asked out, you can tell if a guy is interested in you. I am not considered hot by the male population at all, but if a guy is always talking to you, standing closer than necessary when he talks to you, and acting flirty, you can ask him out. I am not talking about walking up to the first random hot guy you see and asking him out - that is an odds game. You gotta do something like that 100 times in hopes that 1 sticks.