Last week, we received a complaint from a commenter who was sick and tired of seeing pictures of adorable baby polar bears, puppies, kittens, and bunnies. Well guess what, disgruntled commenter?! You're not alone!
The creator of "Fuck You, Penguin" feels the same way. A blog where the author "tells cute animals what's what", Fuck You, Penguin is a hilarious answer to the cute overload that is currently sweeping the internet. Whales, prairie dogs, dolphins, polar bears, and other adorable creatures all get a talking-to. For example: below a picture of a cute little koala, the author writes: "Holy shit, Koala. I didn't realize you were POSING FOR A FUCKING ALBUM COVER FROM THE 1970S. I bet all the songs would be about eucalyptus, seeing as that's all you can eat, you non-omnivorous little shit. Why don't you get down off your tree trunk and act like a normal animal, or are you too good for us? Get lost, Koala. My mind didn't even want to comprehend your cute little existence anyway."
Yesterday's entry, attached to the whale picture above, was also a gem: "I get it, Whale, you're busy. I've only been on this FUCKING BOAT for three and a half hours waiting for you, and the only thing I've seen so far is my lunch from earlier. It's not like you spend your entire goddamn life in the ocean, so I see why you would only come up for basically a split second. Personally, if someone was going to all this trouble specifically to see me, I would take time out of my BUSY ASS SCHEDULE to at least stop by the boat and make some small talk, maybe have some salmon. But I understand, Whale, places to go, 500 pounds of food to eat. I'll be fine. The real question here, Whale, is will you be fine? Can you really live with yourself? Maybe you need to make a change."
So you see, anti-puppy picture commenter? It's a holiday miracle, just for you, and for the rest of us who happen to find shouting obscenities at a picture of a platypus pretty hilarious.