The 5 Words No Hooker Wants To Hear

Yes, “the test came back positive” probably isn’t high on anyone’s list, either, but even that does not have us cringing like “Daddy, why are you naked?”

Via the blog of sex-worker Alex Lieberman comes the horrifying little tale, in which she visits a regular client. Who turns out to have a kid. Who walks in on them.

As they were walking upstairs I could hear Max ask “Who is that person that was naked too?” Oy vey, I hope his custody agreement is already in place. If not, he better be prepared to go pony shopping tomorrow because some serious bribery was in order. This was not a situation that was going to be easily explained away. “At least he didn’t see us fucking,” I thought to myself trying to find a way to see the situation in a better light.

As she rightly asks,

What the hell was Glen thinking having a call girl over to his house while his kid was upstairs sleeping? Horny men are so fucking stupid! Great… now I’m not just responsible for my own therapy, I am responsible for someone’s child needing therapy. I didn’t think that was going to happen till I had kids of my own.

The kid in question at least sounds very young — young enough that he doesn’t know what’s going on — which means the concept of “call girl” is probably a few years away too. And while she finds that Max is, in fact, not in therapy as a result of the incident, we’re guessing this is one that will show up on the couch 20 years down the line.