Pumpkin Spice is a plague on our society, and Last Week Tonight’s John Oliver will stand its tyranny no more. In a web exclusive, the comedian declared our desire for the ubiquitous autumn taste less palatable than swallowing spiders in our sleep. Shots fired.

In Oliver's view, something that tastes like a candle shouldn’t be edible. Yet every fall, Americans flocks to food stores schilling all things pumpkin, and we gobble it up like the last bit of macaroni and cheese at Thanksgiving.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Strike out on your own, ladies. Try a butternut squash instead?

PS. I will admit that I tasted some pumpkin soup with crème fraîche at Trader Joe’s yesterday and that stuff was so delicious I bought some. Don’t judge me.