As hilariously incorrect as this Lonely Island semicolon rap is, we really must advise against using semicolons at all. They’re super unnecessary; just ask Kurt Vonnegut:
Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.
So, when you’re thinking of using semicolons, remember; don’t. Unless you can use them correctly and want to impress your teacher, Maya Rudolph. Or you’re Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School and you want to test your professor’s knowledge of cantankerous quotations from famous American authors by peppering your paper on Slaughterhouse-Five with semicolons.