Television's First Lesbian Buddy Cop Show

Rizzoli & Isles is a good-enough new crime show. It has two capable, attractive female leads. The cases have been intense. The supporting cast has been impressive. But something isn’t quite right.

No, it’s not the politics of Angie Harmon (who plays detective Jane Rizzoli) — though, seriously, don’t get me started. No, it’s not that Sasha Alexander (who plays medical examiner Maura Isles) was shot in the head on what other show. It’s that Rizzoli & Isles should be a lesbian buddy cop show.

OK, stay with me. This isn’t just the wishful lesbian thinking that often plagues our daydreams when it comes to TV and movies. This is because the new TNT show a) would be so much better if they were lesbian and b) needs to take advantage of Angie and Sasha’s incredible chemistry and c) is basically a lesbian buddy cop show already. Don’t believe me on that last one? Well, let me show you.

1) They’ve already slept in the same bed together.

After Isles crawled into bed with her, Rizzoli asked, “Are we having a sleepover or is this your way of telling me you’re attracted to me?”

2) They played softball.

Come on, softball. Ask Elena Kagan the sexual politics of the sport. And, as you can see, Rizzoli is not violating any of the cardinal lesbian softball rules. Right gloves, right grip, right headgear. And she is even giving the pitcher the requisite softball stare.

3) Isles wore this outfit to play softball.

Clearly this full-body, skin-tight bodysuit in lieu of standard softball gear was a clever attempt to get Rizzoli’s attention. Mission: accomplished.

4) This is the face Rizzoli makes later when she sees Isles’ terrible batting stance.

That face screams, “Lesbian, please, you’re embarrassing us.”

5) Even the extras call them gay.

Last week, Rizzoli was called a “skinny greaseball dyke detective” by the mother of a suspect. Granted, probably not exactly what she has printed on her business cards, but quite descriptive none the less.

6) They’re clearly into each other.

Body language does not lie. Two gals don’t stare at each other over and over and over again like this without something going on.

See what I was saying? Irrefutable evidence. Rizzoli & Isles is totally gay, it just doesn’t know it yet.