First they came for Jane, now they're killing Vibe Vixen — and what's this? Teen Vogue is next? But they try so very very hard to reach out to disenfranchised young girls! How could it possibly be failing? We consulted the August issue for clues.
- Maybe it's the magazine's practice of prefacing the prices on all the featured clothes and accessories with the word "about." As in: "Melet Mercantile Vintage Jodhpurs, about $348" (page 161) or "Daryl K leggings, about $290." (page 163). You know, because if you have to ask how much, we're going to shove it in your face that we work at Teen Vogue."
- Perhaps it's the profiles of the "back to school" style-plans of Jeannie Casandra, 14, who tells the magazine she calls Anna Sui "aunt," and Katherine Drexler, 15, who really does call J. Crew CEO Mickey Drexler "dad"... which is why she has to buy clothes you can actually get at a mall?
- Or is it the profile of Teresa Missoni — who is introduced in the headline as a "third-generation Missoni" — because every twelve-year-old should understand the grave importance of what that implies?
- Could it be this sentence from the cover story on L.C. and Whitney from The Hills, the reality show about working at Teen Vogue: "Whitney's due to graduate from USC and is being considered for a spot on staff at Teen Vogue."
- Or perhaps it's this sentence: "It seemed to be the perfect storm of biological, social and emotional issues that led 23-year-old Cho Seung Hui to kill 32 students and faculty on the Virginia Tech campus."
- The magazine's rabid coverage of the Costume Institute Gala? Also: The word "gala"?
- Just go here.
- Agyness Deyn, page 184. Her fucking haircut, the spelling of her name, the fact that she was a real bitch when she showed up to our own Intern Maria's American Apparel branch in Brooklyn. We could go on.
- Quotes like this, from designer Marc Jacobs: "The scent is youth in a bottle: Heady, whimsical and fun." This would surely annoy us if it appeared in Vogue, but in a magazine FOR said youth, only make us want to drink said perfume.